MY FAITH IN HUMANITY HAS BEEN RESTORED....A LITTLE BIT :) TEXAS?
Watch as these gay parents are bashed in public, in front of their children. Then the reaction. I was touched and a little bit pleasantly surprised. Actually awed from the reactions. You may need some tissues. Very heartfelt interactions between our fellow man. Gay and straight.
Awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zhl9MLno424&feature=player_embedded
A story of life, love, and hope......OR how two girls from the south met, fell in love, got married, and made a family!
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
All That Really Matters
I have a confession to make. I LOVE reading blogs. I read them like I would read a book. Sometimes I read them all the way through from finish to start. It's not so much a nosiness. I just find other people's lives fascinating! Especially when they are so similar to mine. I don't have hundreds of same sex newlyweds/families in my neighborhood. I can pretty much say there are none where we live now. I can get online though and there are HUNDREDS of families like ours. Of course most of them are scattered all around the country and Canada! It is so nice to turn on the computer and all of a sudden I am surrounded by people like me. Most of you are engaged in the homosexual agenda pointed out by politicians and evangelical organizations, as am I. I am sure that your homosexual agenda is somewhat like mine: paying the mortgage, doing homework with kids, housework, doing the laundry, cooking dinner, paying bills.....really deviant stuff. and the worst of all, settling down, getting married, and *gasp* having children!
Most of the blogs I read these days are family and children oriented. It seems that now there are more GLBT families having children. And writing about it. Since I have started reading these blogs and we have started the very early process of TTC, I've noticed some anxiety. I seem to go right for the TTC timeline when I find a new blog. This is usually, for those of you not familiar with this term the "Trying To Conceive Timeline" These usually read as pretty depressing and discouraging. To me anyway. They start with dates at the beginning and it usually goes through all the dates, in order, of all procedures, IUI and IVF attempts. It also includes surgeries, procedures that have been needed to increase fertility. I have recently started becoming really discouraged by these and all the years of posts. It seems that there is a long road ahead of us! I don't want to stop reading these because I love the community that is developed. But sometimes when I look at the start to when a couple actually has a baby, it is a two-three year span. When I factor in J's PCOS and the fact that she has to take medication just to have a period it seems like this may be really hard. She says she only wants to do six IUI's. Then reevaluate. I just wonder if we are setting ourselves up for a lot of heartache and financial strain.
Don't get me wrong, I was really thrilled that J changed her mind and decided that she really did want to try to get pregnant. I am so proud of her for really digging down to see that fear was really keeping her from becoming a mother. Fear and anxiety have been issues that she had for a long time. So for her to decide that she really did want children was amazing. Part of my problem is that I read to much. I read all about everything against us. In print and online. I read about the years and years of heartache, procedures, stress. Even the foster parents, adoption stories are heartbreaking. It makes me nervous, and anxious about the whole process. Most of you know I have two children already. I am forty two. J is thirty four. She has never had the joy of becoming a mother. I worry for her that she may be heartbroken. I worry that we may both get our hopes up and it won't happen.
So for now, I try not to read anymore timelines. I try to stay positive. I truly believe if we are meant to be parents of more children it will happen. I believe that the power of positive thinking is important. It is something I struggle with. I tend to be a worrier. I am working on that. I am working on believing that if we stay positive, believing that we can do this. It will happen.
The most important thing I believe is that I love J with all my heart. I know that whatever happens we will be happy together. That we are a family. We have such a wonderful extended family all around us. It gets us through. We are literally surrounded by family. My in laws are across the street (they have an amazing pool and we pretty much live outside around it all summer.) and J's sister and family are two doors down. Her great aunt is another two doors away. My family lives about and hour and a half away. We get our two nephews (one is mine and one is hers, they are literally city mouse and country mouse, so getting them together is hilarious!) together to spend weekends with us quite often. We frequently get both of our families together for meals, cookouts, swimming, holidays and birthdays. We are so blessed that both of our families support us and get along really well. Our moms actually get together on their own and go to lunch! As someone who has never lived near family before and moved around a lot as a child, it is awesome to have this family and community that surrounds us.
I have come to realize, this is all that really matters.
Most of the blogs I read these days are family and children oriented. It seems that now there are more GLBT families having children. And writing about it. Since I have started reading these blogs and we have started the very early process of TTC, I've noticed some anxiety. I seem to go right for the TTC timeline when I find a new blog. This is usually, for those of you not familiar with this term the "Trying To Conceive Timeline" These usually read as pretty depressing and discouraging. To me anyway. They start with dates at the beginning and it usually goes through all the dates, in order, of all procedures, IUI and IVF attempts. It also includes surgeries, procedures that have been needed to increase fertility. I have recently started becoming really discouraged by these and all the years of posts. It seems that there is a long road ahead of us! I don't want to stop reading these because I love the community that is developed. But sometimes when I look at the start to when a couple actually has a baby, it is a two-three year span. When I factor in J's PCOS and the fact that she has to take medication just to have a period it seems like this may be really hard. She says she only wants to do six IUI's. Then reevaluate. I just wonder if we are setting ourselves up for a lot of heartache and financial strain.
Don't get me wrong, I was really thrilled that J changed her mind and decided that she really did want to try to get pregnant. I am so proud of her for really digging down to see that fear was really keeping her from becoming a mother. Fear and anxiety have been issues that she had for a long time. So for her to decide that she really did want children was amazing. Part of my problem is that I read to much. I read all about everything against us. In print and online. I read about the years and years of heartache, procedures, stress. Even the foster parents, adoption stories are heartbreaking. It makes me nervous, and anxious about the whole process. Most of you know I have two children already. I am forty two. J is thirty four. She has never had the joy of becoming a mother. I worry for her that she may be heartbroken. I worry that we may both get our hopes up and it won't happen.
So for now, I try not to read anymore timelines. I try to stay positive. I truly believe if we are meant to be parents of more children it will happen. I believe that the power of positive thinking is important. It is something I struggle with. I tend to be a worrier. I am working on that. I am working on believing that if we stay positive, believing that we can do this. It will happen.
The most important thing I believe is that I love J with all my heart. I know that whatever happens we will be happy together. That we are a family. We have such a wonderful extended family all around us. It gets us through. We are literally surrounded by family. My in laws are across the street (they have an amazing pool and we pretty much live outside around it all summer.) and J's sister and family are two doors down. Her great aunt is another two doors away. My family lives about and hour and a half away. We get our two nephews (one is mine and one is hers, they are literally city mouse and country mouse, so getting them together is hilarious!) together to spend weekends with us quite often. We frequently get both of our families together for meals, cookouts, swimming, holidays and birthdays. We are so blessed that both of our families support us and get along really well. Our moms actually get together on their own and go to lunch! As someone who has never lived near family before and moved around a lot as a child, it is awesome to have this family and community that surrounds us.
I have come to realize, this is all that really matters.
Friday, March 9, 2012
We Have A New Baby At Our House!
We have a new baby. She is ten weeks old. She weighs 10 lbs. Her name is Piper. She has the softest light brown hair and big brown eyes. We are absolutely exhausted! We are sleep deprived. I haven't had a shower in two days. I try to sleep when she sleeps. She is sleeping in my lap as I write this. Before I go any further, let me explain that she is a puppy!
At this point I really don't see the difference between a baby puppy and a baby human! I have experienced them both and am thinking the baby human was easier. They didn't have legs that worked yet, you could wear them, they wore diapers, ate on demand, and had no teeth!!! We are in love with her though! It is so funny to compare them to the human baby. If you ever wondered if you and your partners parenting skills are similar and work well together, get a puppy. A young one.
The first night Piper slept curled up, nestled in my neck. She arrived home at about 1:00 am. See, my wife wanted to surprise me for my birthday. She had planned this for weeks. Her best friend Jamie and her wife live in Atlanta. A friend of theirs rescued and was fostering three puppies that appeared to be a dachshund mix. They were taken from a hoarder situation. They all had Parvo. All but three of the puppies died. She is one of the three survivors! So my wife, her sister, and a friend drove halfway to Atlanta, about three hours to pick up this pup. They were supposedly running "birthday errands"! While they were gone, I was brainstorming. I knew that whatever the surprise was, my daughter was very jealous about. I had heard the whispers, the bits of conversation here and there. I couldn't possibly think of what my daughter would be jealous over! Then I remembered. She really wanted a dog. We have also been talking about it as well. Due to my back injury I knew it wasn't the right time. I called J. I begged her to tell me if she was getting me a dog for my birthday. I told her, "do not get me a dog for my birthday" I made her promise me that this was NOT my birthday surprise. Now mind you, she is driving three hours for "Operation Piper" I hung up the phone, somewhat convinced that there was no dog. At 1:00 am I was awakened to J who led me to the kitchen window. There in the window, J's sister is holding up Piper! My heart melted, I went outside, I was in love. She was so beautiful, so calm. And J was a panicked ball of nerves! I totally let her off the hook. She was forgiven for the puppy lies.
So, the first night, she slept blissfully against my neck. In the morning, and several doggy accidents later, I came to my senses. She really needed to be crate trained. J agreed reluctantly. She had not crate trained Manny our boxer when she got him 5 years ago. He did fine sleeping in bed from the start. I insisted that this was best. We got a crate and started the second night. He cried 20 minutes that first night. I thought J was going to die! I had to convince her we were doing the right thing. We set the clock to take her out in three hours. We all survived. The next night she cried less than five minutes. We are now having no crying at bedtime and she seems to like her crate. We are still taking her out every 3-4 hours during the night. During the day, she goes out every hour. Hence the no shower, housework, blogging, or much of anything else!
Like a baby human, I am napping when she naps, which is usually on my chest or lap. Her older brother, Manny is having lots of sibling rivalry. The chew toys that were bought for the baby are now being chewed on my him. He attempts to climb into my lap during nap time, all 80 lbs of him. I have to send him away and I feel terrible! It is so much like having a real sibling. He pouts when you show the baby too much attention, he takes her toys, is so clingy, needs lots of attention. They play really well together. He is a little rough on her, plays really hard. She does have those razor sharp baby teeth which does give her a little bit of an advantage. I think they will eventually be really good friends.
Just as parenting a human baby isn't always predictable, neither is puppy parenting. We were originally told that she was a dachshund mix. We had wanted a smaller dog since we already had one 80 lb baby. When J picked her up it was quite evident that she was a lot bigger. We have since discovered that she appears to be a Rhodesian Ridgeback. It is a type of hound. She looks just like all the pictures we have taken. From the size of her feet she will probably get to be 50-70lbs! So much for a little dog! Just like with children, you never know what kind of child to expect. It's always good to be flexible!
J is known to get her out of her crate in the morning, take her outside to go potty and then spend the rest of the morning until she has to get ready for work with the baby on her chest, both of them sleeping on the couch.
Softie.
 |
| J holding our new baby |
The first night Piper slept curled up, nestled in my neck. She arrived home at about 1:00 am. See, my wife wanted to surprise me for my birthday. She had planned this for weeks. Her best friend Jamie and her wife live in Atlanta. A friend of theirs rescued and was fostering three puppies that appeared to be a dachshund mix. They were taken from a hoarder situation. They all had Parvo. All but three of the puppies died. She is one of the three survivors! So my wife, her sister, and a friend drove halfway to Atlanta, about three hours to pick up this pup. They were supposedly running "birthday errands"! While they were gone, I was brainstorming. I knew that whatever the surprise was, my daughter was very jealous about. I had heard the whispers, the bits of conversation here and there. I couldn't possibly think of what my daughter would be jealous over! Then I remembered. She really wanted a dog. We have also been talking about it as well. Due to my back injury I knew it wasn't the right time. I called J. I begged her to tell me if she was getting me a dog for my birthday. I told her, "do not get me a dog for my birthday" I made her promise me that this was NOT my birthday surprise. Now mind you, she is driving three hours for "Operation Piper" I hung up the phone, somewhat convinced that there was no dog. At 1:00 am I was awakened to J who led me to the kitchen window. There in the window, J's sister is holding up Piper! My heart melted, I went outside, I was in love. She was so beautiful, so calm. And J was a panicked ball of nerves! I totally let her off the hook. She was forgiven for the puppy lies.
 |
| Surprise! Happy Birthday Mom!! |
So, the first night, she slept blissfully against my neck. In the morning, and several doggy accidents later, I came to my senses. She really needed to be crate trained. J agreed reluctantly. She had not crate trained Manny our boxer when she got him 5 years ago. He did fine sleeping in bed from the start. I insisted that this was best. We got a crate and started the second night. He cried 20 minutes that first night. I thought J was going to die! I had to convince her we were doing the right thing. We set the clock to take her out in three hours. We all survived. The next night she cried less than five minutes. We are now having no crying at bedtime and she seems to like her crate. We are still taking her out every 3-4 hours during the night. During the day, she goes out every hour. Hence the no shower, housework, blogging, or much of anything else!
Like a baby human, I am napping when she naps, which is usually on my chest or lap. Her older brother, Manny is having lots of sibling rivalry. The chew toys that were bought for the baby are now being chewed on my him. He attempts to climb into my lap during nap time, all 80 lbs of him. I have to send him away and I feel terrible! It is so much like having a real sibling. He pouts when you show the baby too much attention, he takes her toys, is so clingy, needs lots of attention. They play really well together. He is a little rough on her, plays really hard. She does have those razor sharp baby teeth which does give her a little bit of an advantage. I think they will eventually be really good friends.
 |
| Manny and Piper- showing brother and sister love |
Just as parenting a human baby isn't always predictable, neither is puppy parenting. We were originally told that she was a dachshund mix. We had wanted a smaller dog since we already had one 80 lb baby. When J picked her up it was quite evident that she was a lot bigger. We have since discovered that she appears to be a Rhodesian Ridgeback. It is a type of hound. She looks just like all the pictures we have taken. From the size of her feet she will probably get to be 50-70lbs! So much for a little dog! Just like with children, you never know what kind of child to expect. It's always good to be flexible!
J is known to get her out of her crate in the morning, take her outside to go potty and then spend the rest of the morning until she has to get ready for work with the baby on her chest, both of them sleeping on the couch.
Softie.
 |
| Favorite place to sleep. |
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