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| Our beautiful daughter on our wedding day with our flower girl Izzy. I am so extremely proud of her!!!!! |
On a couple positive notes. Our daughter Little C got into college! She will be about 2 and1/2 hours away at a small, private liberal arts college. I am really in denial at this point. I am so excited for her to start this journey and all that the world has to offer out there. I am just not ready to let go of her that much. Making sure she gets up for school, eats, studies, managing her time. All of those things she will have to do herself. That. Is. So. Scary. To. Me. It just doesn't seem like she is old enough. It still seems like she was in elementary school last week. I truly am excited for her and all that the future holds! I just have keep reminding myself that this is what we work for as parents.....to set them free. Hoping that we have taught them while they have been ours during this time, everything they need to know. Trusting also that they figure out what they don't know. She is such a wonderful girl. I think she will do fine. Me? Not too sure! We still have time though and I am clinging to that with every minute I get to share with her.
I got an Macbook Pro this past weekend. This is so exciting. I have wanted a new laptop for so long. J has one for work, Little C has one for school. I had an iPad which I love but it was limiting in what it would let me do especially in blogging. I couldn't upload pictures and a few other things. It was limiting. This computer is awesome though! I don't really understand exactly how to use it. I am learning. My daughter has been teaching me which has been pretty funny!
The biggest thing going on with me is that I hurt my back at work last week. I am a nurse and my back is my bread and butter. I can't lose my back. It is what my livelihood is built upon. So, I am now dealing with pain, pain meds, heat, ice, chiropractors, orthopedics, and physical therapy. Oh, and the rolls and rolls of red tape called workers comp. I have my own orthopedic doctor and place that I was going to start PT (I had back surgery almost 5 years ago) My primary doctor had referred me to them on my last visit. Then I got hurt at work. The first appointment they can get me is Friday, March 2nd! So, I am basically stuck in the recliner until then. Out of work. Dependent on my wife. And in pain. Not a good place to be. I can't be treated anywhere until this appointment on the 2nd. I am sleeping in the recliner at night, which is not a great arrangement when you are a newlywed!
We are trying to start growing our family in the next few months so this is not somewhere I want to be. I am eight years older than my wife. I don't want to be falling apart before we even get started! I worry about being a burden on her. About her resenting me for needing so much help.
I just needed to vent. Have a pity party. I can't say a lot of this on Facebook because of the workers comp issue. I know I can say it here because I have no idea if many people even read this! And my name isn't here so I can just blog and blab away! That is very freeing! Besides, so many times just laying things out there helps others, or others help you. In that case, I would be glad to hear from anyone that has been through this. I know what I need to do. I just have GOT to do it. Exercise is going to be my saving grace for the rest of my life. Maybe this is the wake up call I needed. Maybe
*This is my third time trying to post my reply and I have been having issues...blogger doesn't love me. Anyways...*
ReplyDeleteYou are not falling apart. You are taking care of yourself that you can be the best mom for your children. Don't beat yourself up. When my knees were really messed up I did a lot of water aerobics. Give it a try :)
I too admit I enjoy reading everyday tales of others lives! It helps you feel connected to other families and you grow into this little community that offers advice and acceptance. Anyways...
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about your back troubles. I hope that it gets better very soon! :-)